THINK FROM BRAIN OR HEART?
Emily has cerebral palsy. She suffered severe brain damage at birth and is unable to walk, talk, see, or feed herself. Yet, she is the happiest person I know. She does not worry, she has no inhibitions, no ego, no envy, hate, selfishness, she simply radiates love and kindness. She also has the wonderful ability to make every fit and able person who meet her, feel grateful and thankful for their own good fortune. And none of these incredible qualities are due to her brain.
But she does have a big heart that works perfectly. I don’t mean the physical organ that pumps blood around the body, I mean the spiritual heart, that invisible but very real heart of her being, her essence, her soul, that is pure and perfect.
You and I have a heart like that too. It’s the bit of us that people refer to when they say: “she’s got a good heart” or “his heart is in the right place” and so on, it’s where all the good rather than bad things come from.
And yet we all attach so much importance to the brain. We call clever people brainy, and we boast about the amazing inventions and events that we have created around the world being due to our wonderful brains.
Stop a moment!
Now look more closely at the world around you. Look at all the divisions in our society, all the crime, murder, poverty, hatred, greed, selfishness, social unrest, global environmental and warring catastrophes, happening even as you read this page.
All due to the brain.
It’s not people with brain injuries, impaired brains, or special needs that are responsible, it’s people with perfectly normal brains, but little heart.
THE POWER OF YOU.
No longer will I keep quiet.
Many years ago, if I felt unjustly treated by officialdom, I accepted it and rarely complained, thinking: ‘they must be right, after all they are the powers that be, and what can insignificant little old me do about it anyway?
Then, Emily came along, with all her special needs and unable to speak or fight for herself, and everything changed. From that day on Liz and me have fought consistently to get the help and services that she and thousands of others like her, desperately need and deserve. We have fought with the Health Authority, Social Services, Local Education, Local Council, and Welsh Government, and even now in our twilight years we continue to do so. We have also helped set up charities and volunteer groups to provide what the authorities refused to, enabling children and people with disabilities and special needs to enjoy a better quality of life. But we couldn’t have done it by just complaining to each other or sitting at home and keeping quiet.
In those days I used press releases to publicly embarrass the bureaucrats and I well remember one department head throwing a newspaper across the office and shouting ‘Sort this out immediately!’ See, when these government departments think it’s only you and them who know about the issue, they will simply ignore you and hope it goes away. But when they realise that the general public read the papers and listen to the news, and that it could have a negative effect come voting day, they will quickly jump!
Nowadays, I still spend much of my time writing letters but now I can also use social media to express my strongly held views. And regardless of whether people agree with me or not, at least I’m getting my message out there while hopefully making a difference too.
Because I am no longer afraid to do so.
It’s called The Power of You.
Try it.
THE POWER OF LOVE
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
Isn’t it odd that when a stranger comes into your life, it takes time to get to know them, before you eventually get to decide if you like or love them, or not? But when a baby arrives, a stranger no less, we cannot help but love them immediately as if we’ve known them for a lifetime.
My belief is that the more someone needs you, the more you need them. And a newborn baby needs you to care for them because they cannot care for themselves. However, in time that baby grows into a child and eventually an adult, when they are fully able to care for themselves. Sadly, a baby born with profound disabilities and special needs will always need your care, and more love than you can imagine, even in adulthood.
When Emily was born and we were first told about her condition: that she would never walk, talk, see, or feed herself, and that she would be dependent on others for the rest of her life, I really thought it was the end of our hopes for a good life, and the end of our freedom. It wasn’t what I wanted. I also saw her disability and suffering as cruel and unfair, and for the first time my faith in God was dented. But not for long.
Gradually, Emily took over our lives and gave our lives meaning. Emily’s needs and very dependence on us, was in fact a gift. All ambitions for success, lifestyle, and material things were gone. For the first time I could clearly see the reason we’re here, and it’s not for the things I just mentioned. My former worries and problems paled into insignificance compared to what she and we were now facing, but I also knew that caring for Emily was my calling and life-purpose. I had been given the best gift I could have wished for, the chance to fill my life and hers with love, compassion, and care. My former life and ambitions could never have given me that.
Thirty-six years later I feel truly blessed, and although life is not easy, every task and challenge Liz and I face in caring for Emily brings its own rewards that can be summed up in one word: LOVE.
As I reflect, the reason for Emily and the reason for life shines through like a beacon of truth. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what I needed.
I once was blind but now I see.
Emily's World 